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Chapter XV: Augustina

from The Memory of Good by Miriam Marston

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lyrics

Feel the meaning grow inside,
build up against those solemn lies,
why do I always seem so driven by their calculations?
Nothing is clear, and all is bent,
opening my heart up for rent.
Idolize, even though it’s some sort of cheap imitation.
I never was quite the
marrying kind.
Well, I was in love once, it ended just fine.
I never chased after diamonds or gold,
all that I wanted was simple and bold.
Crazy and numb but standing firm,
I could let go but haven’t learned
freedom apart from this:
my very own confusion.
Sentiments crowd my thoughts and words,
all that I crave and all that hurts.
Reason abiding deep
but second to this illusion.
Simply the one who would hold open the door,
to Providence waiting to show us more.
Simply a lover of all that is good,
who didn’t need a way out if I understood.
I am awake at 2am,
wondering how I’m still this sane,
listening for a voice to soften my hesitation.
And what a surprise!
I’m on my knees.
It is too early, but still I see
signs of a sunrise
breaking through all of my complications.
Turning a page to this marrying time,
I am in love now, it’s brought me to life.
He never chased after what he’d been told,
All of those notions so fatal and old.

credits

from The Memory of Good, released September 7, 2017

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Miriam Marston Portland, Oregon

I started composing when I was 10. I called one of my first songs "Nostalgia", although I can't recall what my ten year old self was so nostalgic about. Released my first album in 2000. Things got busy, but I never stopped writing. Even if it meant composing on a mostly-broken piano in the basement of a university that I wasn't even enrolled in. Enjoy all the music and reading! Pax. MM ... more

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